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Rachel
30 April 2007 @ 03:51 am
It's almost 4 am, and since I'm being all insomniatic (is that a word?), I thought I would update for the first time in years.

Today (as in, after midnight, the 30th) is my 1 year Rent yartzeit, aka 1 year since I've seen Rent. Wow, that was a while ago. It feels weird. I miss it sometimes, but then I think of how much progress I've made without it, so it's probably for the better. When I see pics on myspace and facebook of people at Rent, I feel a bit left out. I don't know all these new people who see the show, although I've talked to some through the forums. I still post on CB (I had my username changed so I don't seem so fangirly anymore), and I occasionally read Antonique's board. I honestly don't know who's in the show, who sees the show, and what that life is like now. I feel bad for how I acted towards other people when I went to the Neder religiously, but I don't regret it. I've learned a lot from it. I do miss seeing the friends I've made, though. I haven't gotten back to the city yet. I'm getting there, but this whole "getting better" is a process. I'm up and moving around and going to school every day, so I'm thankful for that and proud of myself. I think it's a pretty big accomplishment from not leaving the house at all.

The year's almost over, and next year I'm going to be a senior. I still don't know what school I'll be at next year (actually, it's been pretty much decided, but I'm not saying anything). Ardsley has been, well, an experience. As soon as I arrived, rumors and shit from 8th grade started to resurface. I hope it's died down by now. I haven't really been able to make new friends- probably because I'm not in any clubs or anything (I'm in treatment every day, so I can't). The actual academic work is pretty easy, so that takes some stress out of my life. Back to the whole almost being a senior thing- I'm freaked out about being a senior. The people a year above me, some who are only a couple months older than me, are graduating. I take the SATs on Saturday, and I'm supposed to be looking at colleges (which I haven't). It's been suggested that I take a year off after high school before college, but I don't know.

On a whole, my life is pretty good- a lot better than it was a couple of months ago. In the past year I've been to 5 different schools (Masters, home tutoring, hospital, boarding school, and Ardsley) and worked with 8 different therapist-type people (my psychiatrist, 2 psychologists at Ardsley, a social worker and psychiatrist at Grove, a social worker and psychiatrist at the hospital, and a behavior therapist). I don't do much for fun or hang out with friends, but I live my life, which I'm proud of.
 
 
Current Location: bedroom
Current Mood: tiredtired
 
 
Rachel
06 February 2007 @ 11:25 am
Take pictures of what's in front of, behind, to the left, to the right, above and below you.

Front:
>
Compulsive Bowlers on the computer screen. More specifically, Rick's icon. I can watch that thing all day.
>
Addicting, right?

Behind:
<>
Television and bookcase, and the couch is the white thing on the bottom.

Left:
<>
Outside. Snow!

Right:
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Piano. And the Kiss Me Kate score that I'm so obviously rehearsing...

Above:
<>
The ceiling.

Beneath:
<>
My Hello, Kitty pajama bottoms. Yes, it's almost noon on a Tuesday.

Kitty!
<>
She's not in my field of vision, but aint she a cutie?
 
 
Current Mood: creativecreative
Current Music: random YouTube videos
 
 
Rachel
25 September 2006 @ 08:34 pm