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30 April 2007 @ 03:51 am
It's almost 4 am, and since I'm being all insomniatic (is that a word?), I thought I would update for the first time in years.

Today (as in, after midnight, the 30th) is my 1 year Rent yartzeit, aka 1 year since I've seen Rent. Wow, that was a while ago. It feels weird. I miss it sometimes, but then I think of how much progress I've made without it, so it's probably for the better. When I see pics on myspace and facebook of people at Rent, I feel a bit left out. I don't know all these new people who see the show, although I've talked to some through the forums. I still post on CB (I had my username changed so I don't seem so fangirly anymore), and I occasionally read Antonique's board. I honestly don't know who's in the show, who sees the show, and what that life is like now. I feel bad for how I acted towards other people when I went to the Neder religiously, but I don't regret it. I've learned a lot from it. I do miss seeing the friends I've made, though. I haven't gotten back to the city yet. I'm getting there, but this whole "getting better" is a process. I'm up and moving around and going to school every day, so I'm thankful for that and proud of myself. I think it's a pretty big accomplishment from not leaving the house at all.

The year's almost over, and next year I'm going to be a senior. I still don't know what school I'll be at next year (actually, it's been pretty much decided, but I'm not saying anything). Ardsley has been, well, an experience. As soon as I arrived, rumors and shit from 8th grade started to resurface. I hope it's died down by now. I haven't really been able to make new friends- probably because I'm not in any clubs or anything (I'm in treatment every day, so I can't). The actual academic work is pretty easy, so that takes some stress out of my life. Back to the whole almost being a senior thing- I'm freaked out about being a senior. The people a year above me, some who are only a couple months older than me, are graduating. I take the SATs on Saturday, and I'm supposed to be looking at colleges (which I haven't). It's been suggested that I take a year off after high school before college, but I don't know.

On a whole, my life is pretty good- a lot better than it was a couple of months ago. In the past year I've been to 5 different schools (Masters, home tutoring, hospital, boarding school, and Ardsley) and worked with 8 different therapist-type people (my psychiatrist, 2 psychologists at Ardsley, a social worker and psychiatrist at Grove, a social worker and psychiatrist at the hospital, and a behavior therapist). I don't do much for fun or hang out with friends, but I live my life, which I'm proud of.
Current Location: bedroom
Current Mood: tiredtired
06 February 2007 @ 11:25 am
Take pictures of what's in front of, behind, to the left, to the right, above and below you.

Compulsive Bowlers on the computer screen. More specifically, Rick's icon. I can watch that thing all day.
Addicting, right?

Television and bookcase, and the couch is the white thing on the bottom.

Outside. Snow!

Piano. And the Kiss Me Kate score that I'm so obviously rehearsing...

The ceiling.

My Hello, Kitty pajama bottoms. Yes, it's almost noon on a Tuesday.

She's not in my field of vision, but aint she a cutie?
Current Mood: creativecreative
Current Music: random YouTube videos
25 September 2006 @ 08:34 pm